I had yet another sleepless night last night and my eyes are burning from exhaustion right now, but something so beautiful has come out of this little bout of sleeplessness. I hesitate to type it out for fear that it will lose some of its beauty, but it’s always good to share the wonderful moments in our lives with others.
I was lying in my bed last night taking turns looking at Richard in his little fish bowl resting peacefully after a hard day of swimming and being fishy and looking at the creepy skull in my ceiling. I had some music playing and it was really quite peaceful…well except that I was looking at the creepy skull and actually contemplating spilling my guts to it and that made me a little bit fearful of my own mental state in that instance. But, I felt this amazing push to get out of bed, get on my knees and spill all to Heavenly Father. Just give everything to him. So I did. And I felt bad, because He hears it from so many people and people who have way worse stuff going on than I. I won’t tell you everything I said or asked, but what I did ask was this : for help in seeking out the truth and light that will guide me throughout the rest of my life or at least during this interim period I’m calling “All work and no play.” I don’t typically get super strong feelings after prayers. I’m more of a slow and steady wins the race type of girl…but I was hit with the most amazing feeling that confirmed to me that the truth and light that I am seeking is right in front of me. It is us…all of us! We are truth and light and everything else that I’m looking for right now. Duh! Don’t you hate when Captain Obvious hit you across the face with a bat? I’m not comparing Heavenly Father to Captain Obvious…just for the record. That was an amazing moment. I’m not much of a cryer, but man did I cry like a baby and it could have been because I haven’t slept since Friday night, but I like to think it was because I knew in that moment that Heavenly Father was with me and there was no doubt in my mind of His grace and mercy and miracles. I’ve really only had one other moment when I felt Heavenly Father’s presence so strongly and that’s a whole other Oprah – or post, but someday I will tell you all of the time He saved me from moving to the mountains and living like Ted Kosinsky, minus the mail bombs and manifestos. So, anyhow, I feel like a total nerd today for not looking to those people around me for the truth and light that I’ve been searching for. Heavenly Father truly blesses us in our relationships with others and I like to think that I’ll continue to learn and be inspired by you all. You are truth and light and I love you!
In other news, I’ll be descending on Council Bluffs, Iowa in 5 weeks to attend my brother’s high school graduation. I’m not so sure I’m ready for Iowa. More to come...
Five things I’m grateful for –
1. My testimony of prayer
2. Richard and the Creepy Skull
3. Inspiration
4. Friends
5. Sleep – I’ve never been more grateful for sleep in my life
Top five things I’ve been obsessed (such a strange word) with lately –
1. The Format
2. Perfecting my lemon bar recipe
3. Sleep
4. The guy in the office who breathes really loud. Sometimes I want to launch paper-clip daggers at him. I’ve even construct a paper-clip dagger launcher out of rubber bands and my Swingline. Now all I need is some courage or one more sleepless night and he’s done for.
5. Making sweet music mixes – some of these will reach epic status…if I ever get them finished.
I was lying in my bed last night taking turns looking at Richard in his little fish bowl resting peacefully after a hard day of swimming and being fishy and looking at the creepy skull in my ceiling. I had some music playing and it was really quite peaceful…well except that I was looking at the creepy skull and actually contemplating spilling my guts to it and that made me a little bit fearful of my own mental state in that instance. But, I felt this amazing push to get out of bed, get on my knees and spill all to Heavenly Father. Just give everything to him. So I did. And I felt bad, because He hears it from so many people and people who have way worse stuff going on than I. I won’t tell you everything I said or asked, but what I did ask was this : for help in seeking out the truth and light that will guide me throughout the rest of my life or at least during this interim period I’m calling “All work and no play.” I don’t typically get super strong feelings after prayers. I’m more of a slow and steady wins the race type of girl…but I was hit with the most amazing feeling that confirmed to me that the truth and light that I am seeking is right in front of me. It is us…all of us! We are truth and light and everything else that I’m looking for right now. Duh! Don’t you hate when Captain Obvious hit you across the face with a bat? I’m not comparing Heavenly Father to Captain Obvious…just for the record. That was an amazing moment. I’m not much of a cryer, but man did I cry like a baby and it could have been because I haven’t slept since Friday night, but I like to think it was because I knew in that moment that Heavenly Father was with me and there was no doubt in my mind of His grace and mercy and miracles. I’ve really only had one other moment when I felt Heavenly Father’s presence so strongly and that’s a whole other Oprah – or post, but someday I will tell you all of the time He saved me from moving to the mountains and living like Ted Kosinsky, minus the mail bombs and manifestos. So, anyhow, I feel like a total nerd today for not looking to those people around me for the truth and light that I’ve been searching for. Heavenly Father truly blesses us in our relationships with others and I like to think that I’ll continue to learn and be inspired by you all. You are truth and light and I love you!
In other news, I’ll be descending on Council Bluffs, Iowa in 5 weeks to attend my brother’s high school graduation. I’m not so sure I’m ready for Iowa. More to come...
Five things I’m grateful for –
1. My testimony of prayer
2. Richard and the Creepy Skull
3. Inspiration
4. Friends
5. Sleep – I’ve never been more grateful for sleep in my life
Top five things I’ve been obsessed (such a strange word) with lately –
1. The Format
2. Perfecting my lemon bar recipe
3. Sleep
4. The guy in the office who breathes really loud. Sometimes I want to launch paper-clip daggers at him. I’ve even construct a paper-clip dagger launcher out of rubber bands and my Swingline. Now all I need is some courage or one more sleepless night and he’s done for.
5. Making sweet music mixes – some of these will reach epic status…if I ever get them finished.
Oh Romeo! I'm grateful for grey fish! Ha ha ha I love your frankness. Is that the right word? Anyways I totally miss your face...now I have to come up with something to right about! Loves*
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